Why do Women, and Not Men, Get Judged for a Messy Home

This is the exact conversation both my mother and I were having recently. We were reflecting on the pressure of living with men versus not living with them. Currently, both my mother and I are separated from our partners and we have noticed the difference in our mental, physical, emotional and spiritual health, not living with men. Many men are messy and yet, they are given a pass while women are not that easily forgiven for a messy home. Three published studies showcased that women consider housework a women's responsibility, especially if they are living with men. When my mother got separated from my father, she made a list of the inequality of unpaid household labor she did additional from her time spent on work for years, I mean, a list where if she didn't do these task, other people would have gotten hired to do such domestic affairs, such as sweeping, vacuuming, washing dishes, cooking, feeding pets, doing laundry, preparing meals, cleaning bathrooms, dusting etc. you get the point. I spoke to one lady who mentioned that her husband expected her to have the cars washed and cleaned as well. According to the Department of labor data, women on average spend 2.3 hours a day on house tasks, and men spend 1.4 hours. These strong believes of expectations for women are standards held when living with someone. The honest truth is that my mother and I feel relieved from the need to live with a man, the worry and or stress chores, decisions and actions on what we are going to eat, cook? The exhaustion of constantly worrying about having the house clean etc. is something I reconsider if I even think about getting together with a male. If I ever do for some reason, get together with a man, I will have different expectations from him, and I will not tolerate such inequality, because I rather be alone. I feel content and happy being a single parent!